Compliments of nic221 via Flickr

Have you ever wondered why some individuals proceed forth in a manner that seems completely absurd? Despite others’ reactions, the inappropriateness of their conduct, (and the fact that they are simply wrong) they remain secure in the belief that they’re entitled to whatever they please. In the narcissist’s self-entwined world, people revolve around their predilections and everyone is expected to follow suit.

Thoughtless, selfish, and self-centered, the belief that they’re the end all be all is the driving force behind their ostentatious display of arrogance. Narcissists look for individuals who mirror their grandiosity (whom they place in their in-group), while challengers are vehemently opposed and violently attacked.

Hence the catch 22: listening to the voice of reason is the only solution, but this voice is in many cases squelched. In the story The Emperor has no Clothes, subjects are afraid to confront the king for fear of repercussions – he thus parades down Main Street naked while onlookers appear to sing his praises.

Narcissists make confrontations so unpleasant (and are so officious in subsequently violating their victims’ boundaries) that others remain silent in an accommodating mode of suffering and feigned commiseration. Narcissists experience severed relationships and uncomfortable situations; they are cursed with an obtuseness that prevents them from seeing the consequences of their behavior. Such are the outcomes if you choose to conduct your business like a spoiled brat.

The tragedy is that because people know the repercussions for nonconformance, they appear to agree when narcissists present their tarnished worldview and their victim mentality. Change and self-development are never part of their plan, because everyone else in their opinion is wrong. Their hubris is difficult to bear and even harder to understand. They are masters at convincing other people that others are to blame (even though all evidence points to the contrary).

Those who choose not to challenge them (or worse yet, to coddle their outrageous behavior) became part of the problem, and the reason why in actuality narcissists are stripped bare before the community. Unteachable, unrelenting, and incorrigible, they wallow in their ignorance with the seeming applause of silenced bystanders. They march to the beat of a different drummer – one whose cadence sets them on a path to self-destruction.

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All viewpoints expressed by Jackie Gilbert are her own, and not of her employer.

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