Compliments of Kaptain Kobold via Flickr

Spoiled is the insistence on having one’s way, despite opposing forces that say otherwise.

Consistently giving into a prima donna simply reinforces the penchant to place their needs on the fast track, to circumvent policy, and to dominate individuals around them. A spoiled person expects others to cater to them (immediately), despite the ramifications of their behavior.

Castigating others for non-compliance is their modus operandi – an offensive tactic that makes those around them want to toe the line. Spoiled persons are silently transmitting the message, “I want what I want, and I want it when I want it.” Sharing is not in their repertoire. Note that giving in to their demands only strengthens the belief that they are a force with whom to be reckoned (and feared).

To the pampered, tantrums are a cheap, easy, childish manner in which to obtain their way, a means by which psychic hostages are taken to maximize their strength. If you’re dealing with someone who is accustomed to running the show (and yours), consider the following:

  • Don’t fold. This behavior will be interpreted as a sign of weakness, and a green light to conduct their business as usual. State your position in a calm, rational fashion, regardless of the pushback you may receive. Often times, simply repeating a person’s name is enough to invoke quietude.
  • Explain the merits of your position, and the reason their insistence may be off-putting. This is difficult to accomplish in the heat of the moment, but if you have time to prepare, a step by step list of arguments will help you to appear more convincing.
  • Realize that you cannot change the other person, especially if they have a hair trigger temper – their behavior is most likely the product of many years of prior indulgence. All you can do is to behave rationally, fairly, and in as even keeled a manner as possible. If you’re an employer, citing reasons of equity among peers may be the best line of defense against petulant inquiries. Stick to your guns, and realize that you can change the situation with repeated non-combative behavior.
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All viewpoints expressed by Jackie Gilbert are her own, and not of her employer.

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