Compliments of Madame Cat-Art via Pixabay

Do you ever regret saying the wrong thing, and that you had been more circumspect in your speech? Firing at will may make us feel better in the moment, but may backfire when we consider the hurt that we have inflicted, or the long-term consequences that may lie ahead. What we say leaves residue in the mind’s eye of someone else: our words create a perception that, once formulated, may not be easy to undo–depending on the virulence of our outburst.

Verbal aggression deflates other people, makes them appear less than, tarnishes their self-image to the point where they may feel they have done something wrong. It can do irreparable damage to relationships. Displaying anger is a one-down activity, in which only one party seemingly benefits.

Before polluting our respective environment, consider the following points:

You may sever a relationship. Just because we may feel better after unloading on someone else does not mean they will easily forget, or that they are willing to forgive. If the offense is egregious enough, it may even impact our jobs–resulting in reprimand, demotion, termination, and possibly blackballing within an industry.

Your brand, or reputation, may be sullied to the point of no return. Colleagues may avoid you, you may not be included in important initiatives, and you may be branded a poor team player.

Shouting at other people is violent and abusive. So is denigrating them in a public space. A community exists when everyone feels like they are part of the group—and not as easy pickings.

Remember that we are all fragile, that we are ultimately responsible for our own behavior, and that everyone wants to feel safe. A check on our tongue before words leave our mouths is a start in creating civil culture.