The focal point of organizing is self-confidence. On a personal level it’s:
(1) Marshaling the strength to launch your persona;
(2) Giving yourself permission to share your unique gifts with others, bestowing these despite perceived push back. Organization is shedding those attitudes that hold us back, those that prevent us from assuming our position as autonomous, independent, fully functioning human beings.
Those who suffer from low self-esteem let other people take the lead – thus a low opinion of themselves becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. These people are more likely to be steamrolled at work, and thus further plunged into a feeling of despair. Fear of success (a rampant problem in this county) results from psychological trauma either experienced early in life (e. g., parents, family, teachers) or later on the job from bullying co-workers or an unrelenting boss.
Namie (2011) mentions that the most frequent reason workers are bullied is “independence – [the] refusal to be or act subservient.” I remember watching a movie entitled “The Favorite,” in which a harem member was forced to kiss the eunuch’s garment hem (when he twisted her arm). Bullying at work is a way of psychologically accomplishing this same objective. Mental torture is the cannibalization of another’s soul – designed to obliterate your sense of self and to create mental enslavement.
At work the abused cling to outdated notions from accusers who don’t act in their best interests (as described by Gary Namie, noted bullying expert):
“Gatekeeper type bullies are the prototypical ‘control freaks.’ Whey they are managers, they micromanage. They care less about actual work performance than taking sadistic delight in how much control they can exert over a target’s working conditions” (Namie, 2001).
Bad seeds implanted by those in authority (and by our peers) take root, bearing the fruit of non-participation, shyness, defenselessness, and the shrinking violet syndrome. In a word, bulied individuals become invisible.
Organization is divestiture of the mealy mouthed, subservient, “no one likes me” repertoire to embrace what is hiding beneath your pseudo-skin of false personality. When you have struggled from inside the chrysalis of inaction you can then share your strengths with other people. Choose not to hide your gifts under a bushel because you’re scared. The self-sabotage which results from Fear of Success clutters your life with unneeded behaviors and undesired consequences – frustration, job loss, tarnished reputation, and the tendency to be talked into activities that are unsuitable. Our thoughts, attitudes and behaviors must converge in a confluence of self-confidence, in which only supportive behavior can emerge. Confidence is a function of our focus. Today, confront your inner demons through positive self-talk, the willingness to confront unfairness, and a sense of optimism. Before you can offer your gifts to others you must bequeath the gift of freedom on yourself – you must streamline your attitudinal wardrobe.
Streamline to self-confidence by the following:
- Don’t let others march forth in ignorance – your perspective may be just what they need.
- Speak your truth to establish yourself as a contender.
- Don’t sully your clear thinking by accepting whatever other people are spouting – draw your own conclusions.
Namie, G., & Namie, R. F. (2011). The bully free workplace: Stop jerks, weasels, and snakes from killing your organization. New Jersey: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.