I wanna be free – Patti Labelle

If you love something, let it go. How often do we attempt to either bully or manipulate another so that they’ll meet our needs? We run the risk of disintegrating that which we clench too closely. Smother love suffocates another person, and enslaves them in emotional bondage. Controllers pulverize the people they hold nearest.

Others are not our conquest, colonized entity, or personal possession – they are sovereign persons with their own desires, needs, interests, and passions. Trying to bind another to you will result in a painful contortion – one that is resented by the vanquished party. Domination isn’t love – it’s ownership, and an aggressive attempt to subjugate someone’s spirit. Before telling another person what they think, want, or feel, consider the following:

  • Respectful interaction results from an equal footing. Forced compliance breeds resentment. The tighter you hold the reigns, the harder the target will try to rebel. Wouldn’t you feel better about being with someone if you knew it was what they wanted, and where they wanted to be? Think about placing their happiness above your own.
  • Try putting yourself in someone else’s position. Would you enjoy being controlled, monitored, and chastised for showing any sign of independence? Do you squash another’s spirit when their wishes/plans/words contradict yours? Selfishness proceeds ignorance within interaction. Steamrolling may obtain short term gains, but it creates friction in the long run. A partnership is give and take, and not emotional occupation. If you treated others as free standing entities, how much happier would they be? More importantly, is their happiness of importance to you?
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All viewpoints expressed by Jackie Gilbert are her own, and not of her employer.

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