In The Success Principles, Canfield writes about “creating successful relationships.” He provides tips to help managers evoke the best in their teammates, while at the same time transforming their own reflected best self. Below are some of his suggestions:
*As open ended questions, talk/argue less, listen more. Talking at people may obtain short term gains, but long term produces sullen opponents (and in the worst case scenario) sabotage. In a similar vein, people who considered Dale Carnegie a terrific conversationalist did most of the talking. Concerted listening does far more to resolve problems than a soliloquy, and in the process may help supervisors learn something.
*Speak with impeccability. This tenet includes telling the truth. From the movie “Moonstruck:” “Tell ‘em the truth, they find out anyway.” Gossip (a variety of fabrication) distorts facts through filters of envy/ill will/poor taste, knifes targets in the back, marking the progenitor as a person who both ignorantly and indiscriminately speaks poorly of people in their absence. Canfield suggests “Make an effort to appreciate something about every person with whom you interact.” Similarly, Wayne Dyer asks, “What are you for?” Canfield makes a point to appreciate ten people per day, carrying a note card in his pocket, checking off names until this habit became automatic.
Persons of excellence monitor their thoughts, attitudes, and behaviors so that resulting interactions are an uplifting experience. Canfield explains, “When you establish a higher level of personal standards, not only do you get better treatment from those around you, but suddenly you begin attracting others with the same elevated standards.”
Those striving for perfection first solicit feedback, then make changes in response. They improve the appearance of everything they touch (along with the emotional tenor) of interpersonal relations. They set the standard, sharing compliments, going above and beyond to make every person with whom they speak feel like royalty. These individuals leave a lasting positive impression which paves the way for continued relationship. They do less to achieve more, “increas[ing] the quality of every experience.”
Who in your immediate sphere do you consider a class act? Could you mirror their behavior, attitudes, and mannerisms so that you yourself can circulate in the same company? Certain people stand out as those who do their best, look for the best in others, and engage in a full court press to make those around them feel included. Benchmarking their behavior could reap benefits for yourself.